SFC, I’m not a veteran here, but I’ve reading on this board for a few months now. I’m pretty sure I’ve read some stories where WAS moved fast to get a D. And the distancing part is common to all WAS, it seems that they just change overnight from a loving spouse to a complete stranger.

I’m not sure why she keeps asking you about whether you will sign the papers or she needs a lawyer. What does it change for her? If she is so determined to get a D, would it make any difference with or without a lawyer? Maybe she is just bulling.
I would not bright any R talk and avoid the D talk at any cost.
If I understood your story correctly, she is a primary bread winner at the moment. By separating the bills and accounts she is showing you who is in charge of the situation. This is just my opinion.

I’m sure the veterans on this board can give you their prospective on this.

Meantime, read Sandi’s rules and implement them immediately. Act “as if” you are completely fine with what she is doing.

M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state