Not confused...trying to keep hope alive!!!

[BRNR]

So, I woke up this morning with no hope...again. Not sure why I feel this way, but I truly do believe I am just becoming comfortable with the way things are.

I thought a lot about the no communication thing, and I see that it is killing my children...they seem to not understand why Daddy hates me so much and honestly, I don't like H not knowing every detail of his boys lives.

I really feel like sending h an email regarding opening the communication lines up for our kids, but I am nervous this will be seen as pursuing, and honestly I don't want it to be perceived that way.

At this time, I want to wish H well in his new life and encourage it as much as possible as I feel that this will help me get on with mine. I do love my H, but I don't like the MLC version. And with no hope of him returning I am focusing on my H being gone for good, after all, this is reality right now.

MWD doesn't really give any insight on how to deal with MLC and children. Wish someone could give some guidelines on this.

I don't know. Trying to promote PMA in my children as well. Told them that we want Daddy happy, but my S9 isn't buying why Daddy can't be happy at home and if there are any secrets I am not telling them...I said no, but I need to remind you, according to me boys do not know about OW yet. I don't feel as if I should be the one to tell them that, if ever they are told.

Crazy morning...but keeping it together.