Yup working on the new me. This grill was a foot-stomp from her since she sent me the link to it. She just doesn't know she'll be getting it this soon.
Since I found out she's an "acts of service" LL, I'll be throttling back on material gifts unless it's something she's picked out.
I have to mention that one of the old patterns I gave up was taking control. The move was her decision, I was there to help. I stayed neutral and didn't take over. I did what she asked with no questions or debate. Later she thanked me for not trying to run the show and just getting stuff over to the new place so she could be there the first night of the move.
I also really had to bite my tongue when we picked up her new bed (tempurpedic)that she put on credit (yikes!). I reminded myself that it's her choice and could potentially be her bed with me out of it. It was nice to sleep on though. It was probably integral in the overnight healing of my body after moving heavy stuff up and down stairs all day.
After the second day, I was working on the flat while she was at work and I texted her that, "Last night's talk was well worth staying up. Just know that I truly believe that you are worth all the effort that I'm putting forth to improve and will continue in the future."
We had stayed up talking in bed and I let her do most of the talking. What I got out of that was she likes the direction I'm heading with my changes, but she's worried that I won't stay consistent. I really heard that part. I think about that constantly so I don't let her down again. I simply told her that I don't want her ever to feel what she felt for those 4-5 years. She's too wonderful of a spouse to feel that way.
I've recently been stressing over how because of our relationship repair, it's been putting career plans on hold and making the path uncertain.
I had a lunch with one of my friends that I've confided in, and he asked how the trip went, etc. I told him of my concern since I'm 17 mos away from retiring and I don't know which path to go.
He reminded me of my passion for cooking and that I'm good at it. He said all you need to do is come up with some easy recipes, perfect them and do what comes easy to you. That way you don't have to choose between a career and family. You can be with the family and cook out of the home and be an entrepreneur. I have felt much better since then.
Granted, my education isn't in cooking, but I think staying with the family after retirement AND being able to enjoy time with them is more important than chasing a career track just because my of my degree.
