I have had 4 dates now with a stung 29 year old and has heated up. Is that bad? Says she really likes me and wants to see me more. She is recently separated and I mean drop dead stunning....I know, I should not be so shallow. Nobody knows. We want to keep it quiet for now.....At least through her legal and my legal stuff. It has happened so fast.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
I have had 4 dates now with a stung 29 year old and has heated up. Is that bad?
You've been separated a year and it seems pretty clear the D is inevitable at this point, so dating is your choice to make. But take it from someone else who is dating, just take it slow because you're throwing new emotions into the mix and it can really create havoc on you! I would suggest keeping it casual at least until your D is final.
I know....take it slow. Not sure what to make of it really so slow is definitely best. This will likely be the first of many, though I dated a couple ladies late last year but backed off as li was not ready. This seems different for some reason I cannot put my finger on. I have known her a while through some business and she and my XW actually know each other....not well though. She makes good money, more than I. No kids. She connects with me a lot and asked me out for tomorrow. I cannot get involved heavily as there is custody issues ongoing for the next few months. She knows the situation well. She keeps telling me what a great dad I am. She needs it quiet for her legal too for a while. She keeps telling me she misses me. It is nice to be attracted to and wanted. I have missed that.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
For sure Floyd. We can say we don't need validation but it is nice to know we are attractive to others. Definitely keep it very casual and away from you kids. Do you agree??
About the custody and D, so why get involved at all until you're out of the M? If she's that special, she'll still be there.
This brings 2 things to mind for me, we get so p!ssed at our spouses for acting capriciously and not sticking around to do the hard work. Have you done your hard work?
And the kids, everyone agrees the break up of a M is hard on them, we hear about it constantly here but parents getting into another R is also difficult for them. Are your kids ready for this? Do they deserve some readjustment time.
Whatever you do, I wish you good luck. I know this has been a long, difficult slog.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
And the reason that there is a large percentage of failed 2nd marriages.
One day you are gonna wake up, and realize that the voice that is validating you, and saying the things that you want to hear, is not coming from the person you want it to be from....
Is that fair to them ????
Try to remember, that while you can somewhat control your emotions, and how you feel....
You cannot do that for someone else.
You cannot gauge how they feel, or if they are getting too close, or pulling away...
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
