I meant to share this with you and ACC and everyone before and forgot. She started talking last Saturday and said a couple interesting things.
1) she said that if we went to therapy with the goal of reconciling and failed.... That I would blame her for not trying.
2) and this one hit home when I thought about it! She said, "When I do open up to you and talk, you argue with me. Not yelling, or not listening or saying anything mean, but if I say... I felt like you didn't care for me in this situation... You say "im sorry you feel that way BUT you know I do and here are 5 examples where I did care for you.
That second point really made me wake up. I could hear all of you guys in my head! I really thought I was doings good job of validating er feelings. I had no idea I was interjecting and thus saying her feelings were wrong. In hindsight, I was trying to "prove" my case..but I could see then how it must have made her feel and promised myself I needed to STFU and try to jysk listen. Not perfect yet, may never be, but I'm trying...
