How do I know? I was there in 2004. My W had a PA for months while I was deployed to Iraq. She claims she told me WE were over, and she did about half way through my tour via the phone. So in her head, we were broken up and the M was over. She justified the PA that way, even though she agreed to put off D proceedings until I got home.
In MC...she justified it. In private conversations...she justified it. So I know in her head she justifies it. And thats where I think you are as well. In the name of saving our M, I backcame more or less a door mat and swallowed it whole and did my best to drive on. I made many changes to address her reasons for the PA. and it took literally YEARS before I was comfortable with her going out alone. Not saying I didnt let her, I did...I just was manic about it.
And then one day I just let it all go....at least until recently when I got BD on 1 May.
Hang in there...there are no easy answers, and harder lessons to learn. Stay true to yourself.
Thanks for your post. I am sorry to hear about your recent BD.
So what would you do over, and what would you do different?
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
