My Story - Need Advice (Thread 2)

[Accuray]

Chris, good job! If there was one thing I would change, it would be to not comment on how you feel or what you want at all, just leave yourself 100% out of it.

It must have been *very tempting* to point out that you would only land in the same place 6 months from now if both of you did not work on changing your dynamics, but she can't hear that from you, she has to realize it, so good for you for not saying a thing along those lines!

There are very obvious things we can point out to the WAS, but it is SO IMPORTANT not to, and you did a great job of that, so pat yourself on the back!

Here's what I would do -- next time you see her (not by special appointment, just when you happen to have an opportunity), read back to her what she said to show that you understand it. Don't edit or editorialize, just read it back. "Hey W, I was thinking about what you said the other day and I want to make sure I understood it. You said ..." Clarify anything you're not sure you got, but 100% about her, and 0% about you. Then, disappear! Give her space and time and do nothing else to engage her on these points.

Accuray