Harder and harder

[jp787]

Your alright PS.

Maybe I'll sneak an email in here one day...

Hang in there, I know it [censored] and hurts.

Glad your here!

[SFC_Swede]

Holy Jesus PS...that you handled that as well as you did only speaks volumes of your character.

I know that isnt comforting, but I can tell you...I absolutely FEAR what I would do if my W did that to me.

I will take stock in your response as the proper method. You are the bigger man in all this. Remember it.

[uRworthy]

PS, I am so sorry. Really and truly.

I have not read your backstory. I apologize.

But, that just pisssed me off.

I think there is nothing wrong with setting a boundary here.

You deserve to expect to be treated respectfully in your house.

Sending big hugs to you.

[Positivespin]

You are all awesome people:)

Every time I'm about to snap or try to reciprocate even an ounce of the pain she has given me ....I tell myself/remind myself that this isn't the caring, giving, woman I've known for half my life.

Then I think about d3

That mother f^%#ing Alian that has taken over my wife's brain is actively ruining lives-hopefully not -I swear to sweet baby jeasus, I'm going to kick its a$$:)

My best friend-who understands what I'm doing just texted me

"and it's only going to get worse"

[uRworthy]

Sweetie, your wife sounds like she is in crisis. So, she is suffering, too. Might not seem like it, but, she is.

I know you are concerned about your daughter. I cant imagine how hard it must be for you.

Even at her young age, she is watching you. You need to show her how to handle life's turmoils with dignity and strength.

You are her touchstone right now.

If you are ok, she will be, too.

And they are so resilient at a young age. Bless them.

You are doing really well.

Just keep the focus on you and your daughter and let the alien blow in the wind right now.

Hang in there.

[Positivespin]

I woke up this AM, exercised, showered, packed D3's lunch for her field trip, said goodbye to D3 and left 90 mins early to work ignoring W.

Lots of angry thoughts churning in my head. They all focus on creating the most perfect, nasty, fireball, hurtful comments I can deliver in MC today at noon.

But I know I cant..........

Ill just sit there and hold it all inside. I said my two sentence piece last night and walked away. Thats all I can do- If I show additional emotion or desperation today it will be a backslide.

D3 and I are going to have a AWESOME weekend.

Ill take the high road and get D3 a card so she can give to her mommy on mothers day- screw the giftcard.

Again, Thank you for being there last night- I am blessed to have found you all

[jp787]

Lots of angry thoughts churning in my head. They all focus on creating the most perfect, nasty, fireball, hurtful comments I can deliver in MC today at noon.

But I know I cant..........

Ill just sit there and hold it all inside.

Hey PS don't hold it all inside, let it all out somewhere safe, like here or to a tree, don't hold it in.

D3 and I are going to have a AWESOME weekend.

I know you two will

[Positivespin]

She blew off today's appt with mc................

[jp787]

She blew off today's appt with mc................

Maybe a blessing in disguise....

[adinva]

Unless she really-really wants to work on the marriage and is committed to going through a painful slow process with you to make that happen....

MC is not a good idea.
MC is a box she can check that she "tried everything."
MC is an opportunity to sit there and hear fireballs from you, and how angry and hurt you are, and who wouldn't want to sign up for that?!
MC is an opportunity to sit there and think, "I am doing the right thing, this is never going to work, I hope this is over soon."

I was surprised and thrilled that my H agreed to MC, after a marriage full of who-needs-that and I-dont-have-time-for-that. I was so impressed that he was really going to give it a try. I knew if I just got him in the door, that the counselor and I would be able to reason with him and he'd see the light and do the right thing, ie come back and work on the marriage. I was as disappointed as anyone that he attended, even participated, and ended every session with "I just don't want to get any expectations built up. I have not changed my mind. I will not change my mind." Those he attended, that is. He blew me off more often than not, from September to December, when I finally said, you know, show up if you want to but I won't expect you and don't care if you go or not. I'll keep going because it's helpful to me. He never went after that. I haven't heard him since then, verbalize how done he is. He's still done, but he's not having to demonstrate it to me and the counselor. Honestly, MC is ONLY worth anything if both people really-really want to do hard work to fix their marriage. Even then it's a long shot.