H's complaints: Not romantic enough (I now know his LL is touch), before I would be showing what I thought was love by other ways & he did not see it. That's pretty much all he has told me. He has also told me that he has never really dealt with his past. His parents are divorced & he didn't really have a very good child/family life. His brother lived with his mom & he lived with his dad who wasn't very responsible. He spent most of his time with friends & his grandparents.
It's difficult for me to show touch right now for obvious reasons. I can do better with interacting with him, for sure. I do really well for the most part & have became pretty good at validating.
Yep, read DB. Twice all the way through. I know I've been doing horrible. I have without a doubt been trying to power through with strength & patience alone. I need to get it in gear.
My only GAL over the last couple of weeks has been running. I am going to meet some girlfriends next week one night. I am going to do some yard work this weekend & get a pedi. It's been years since I've done that. I'm also going to spend even more time with my girls. They instantly bring my mood up & in need more of that.
180s…1) make more decisions on my own for me & the girls. (Quit worrying what H might want for dinner, etc & just do what I want) H has actually mentioned my decision making in the past. I need to make more decisions & show confidence in them. 2) quit saying I love you. 3) stay strong with acting 'as if'. 4) continue my patience. I do really well for a while & then something will set me off & I go into freakout mode. 5) stay consistent. I've been all over the place this past week & I know H has noticed. 6) less texting. I don't always initiate the convo, but I do try to keep it going far too long.
My plan right now is to get my sanity back, remain calm, & follow through with my actions. I think I'll bust out DB again over the weekend & reread some of the sections. More than anything, I'm going to get out of this pity party and get back to maintaining a PMA.
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
