Had a conversation with W this morning. I tried to use the things I have learned here and in DR. I listened to her, and validated her as much as possible. Kept eye contact, and while not looking sad or depressed, kept a poker face.
The convo was more or less a round up of what lead her to BD. Instead of getting defensive...I just validated and listened. She then moved on to D talk. That was tougher. She asked me flat out if I would sign the D papers, or did she need to get a L. I sat down, looked her straight in the eye, held her hand, and told her unemotionally that if that was her final decision that I would sign the papers, and that she didnt need to retain a L unless she felt she needed to.
Now heres where I backslid. I told her that I acknowledged the damage and pain I have caused her. I apologized sincerely for the steps that I took to get her to this point. I asked if she was going to press forward with the filing immediately, and asked for time (yeah I know, WRONG). I then clarified by saying while I will sign the papers if asked, it doesnt mean I have given up on the R.
Thoughts?
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
