I don't think I am interested in dating at this point -- still too soon and I have more work to do on myself -- but I can understand how that might be appealing to a DBer.
I certainly wasn't suggesting that you or anyone here should date, that's up to each individual. I was just responding to your question.
Originally Posted By: ForeverYoung
Shouldn't we feel all that while on our own? I know I do.
BD has a way of deflating our egos and destroying our self-esteem. We feel dead, alone, unattractive and undesirable inside. I doubt there are many people that can get those feelings back solely on their own. It takes external feedback and stimulus to help us rise above the tragedy that's been visited upon us by our WAS's and to help us remember who we really are.
Quote:
If you need someone else to validate your love for yourself, I see that as a problem, or at least a shortcoming.
I disagree. That's what GAL is all about and why we constantly counsel people to pick up GAL activities that involve other people. It's interactions with others that remind us that we're not completely defined by our marriage, that there's a lot more to us than that. Interactions with people other than your WAS remind you that there's a real you buried in there that can be pleasant, funny, attractive and even sexy to others. It's kind of like jump-starting a car. If you leave your headlights on and your battery dies, the car is dead inside. But jump start it off another car and it springs right back to life and runs just fine on its own. Most of the time after BD we need others to jump start us before we can start feeling good about ourselves again.
