im sure there is more to the story. i believe he had a rough childhood. i know his baby's mom cheated on him and left him. he says he's over it but who knows. either way i listen to him and relate when he talks. fact is, men crying makes me uncomfortable. i cry. but i do it alone where no one will see. i don't like showing weakness, and to me a man crying comes off as weakness if they do it at inappropriate places. a construction site is one of those places in my opinion. it is also a little creepy when he says some things. he comes off as a major control freak and alot of the time i feel bad for his girlfriend. for example, he made her go to aa. so she did. she slowly opened up and you could see her becoming more happy every week. now he told her to stop going, she is "cured" and he wants her to drink with him. so she is. i am in no place to judge, just the things like that creep me out.
anyway, i had group last night and actually opened up a little. it is kind of funny. my group is 6 women and 1 other guy. a few of the women have said that they think i am rude and not taking it seriously. after group, one of the gals apologized to me. she said she judged me to quickly, and didnt know that i carry around all the shame. she said she understands that when i dont share, im not being rude, im trying to protect myself. interesting to me.. so maybe it was a productive group who knows. all i do know is, i am not trying to impress anyone. i am there for me, to figure out me. i have to take things at my own pace and remain open to new ideas.
