ME. I have recently changed. My actions, thoughts, and perspective have changed. I am now caught up in self-protection mode for myself and my children, that I am losing hope that he will come back, that I would want him to come back, or that we could have a great marriage if he did. I know I shouldn't dwell in the future, but I am trying to plot a course for my life right now, and when I envision my life, parts where I would have included him or wanted to include him, I am not feeling the same about.[quote]
Just because you are moving forward doesn't mean you have to give up hope... I know it's not easy. I was thinking about the same thing last night.. I usually plan long term.. 6 months.. a year.. 5 years at a time.. since everything happened I can barely plan for the next few days.. I don't know where I will be in 6 months.. maybe my W will come back.. maybe I will still be single.. maybe with someone totally new and in love? I don't know??? The point is you don't know the future... so why sweat it.. take one day at a time right now and just plan for you and your children's happiness.. don't worry about your H... if he comes back.. deal with it then.. you were very happy with him before and if it's God plan then you will be happy with him again... worry about you and your kids right now... it's all you can do.. it's all you have control over.
[quote=BRNR] I feel as if I am adding to the destruction...[quote]
you are not adding to anything.. your protecting your future for yourself and your children.. which is what you have to do.. Is he threatening you financially?
[quote=BRNR]Should he continue this with some consistancy, should I acknowledge to H that I see this and it makes me Happy. If yes, how should I acknowledge it. Or should I let it fall to the way side...
Was he a good father before the BD? I don't know if I would tell him that it makes you happy so much as I would tell him that it's making the kids very happy. That you have noticed a positive change in the kids since he has started doing more activities with them.
M-39 W-41 T-9yrs BD-Dec 2012 “regardless of your choices and the fact that they may have caused me to experience painful emotions, I still love you because I recognize the purpose of our journey.”
