Its one of the biggest things I have learned from my journey here, its treat myself right and take care of myself. I am such a better mother, daughter, sister and friend when I take care of myself. I had no idea how much I was living in resentment.
I really liked sub guys post, we are not perfect in life and we need to go wasy on ourself. Even Pema talks about resentments and such, none of us human are perfect yet in fact that is what makes us perfect.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Had to bring this here as it echoes my goals on this journey:
Originally Posted By: Reality Trip
"I want this pain to have a redemptive purpose in my life. I want it to mean something. Pain not transformed is transferred. It would surely lay seed to resentment. Instead, I choose to come out of this a stronger woman and a better spouse." Granted, I have to realize that I may not be a spouse to the same woman in the future... but I will open my heart again and for all of this... I will be a better partner... to my W or someone else.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Had to bring this here as it echoes my goals on this journey:
Originally Posted By: Reality Trip
"I want this pain to have a redemptive purpose in my life. I want it to mean something. Pain not transformed is transferred. It would surely lay seed to resentment.
Thanks, bug for bringing it here and sharing. I love it.
(((((bug)))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
In the spirit of keeping things real, I've had a sh!tty week. I went on my retreat and it was great-36 hours of calm and peace and beauty and thinking.
The re-entry was tough because I needed to deal with some things of my deceased brother's, received his death certificate in the mail and that was hard, which I didn't really didn't see coming. Guess it was the cold hard facts.
I've just been generally sad about my sitch with no real reason, no change in anything. Maybe it's normal for anyone at this stage of the game, I know I have Dd friends who still have periods of sadness, grief maybe.
I don't know, I'm just going with it, continuing to take care of myself and trust that there's some reason for this, something I'm supposed to learn.
On Monday with my IC, I said that for so long (years) my baseline was depression and I would have spikes of happiness, now my baseline is happiness and I have little spikes of depression, makes it more noticeable.
Originally Posted By: Reality Trip
"I want this pain to have a redemptive purpose in my life. I want it to mean something. Pain not transformed is transferred. It would surely lay seed to resentment.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
labug, sorry to hear that you are a little down today. You have been such an inspiration and helpful in your comments - to me and many others on this board (and I am sure to many who you meet in the 'real' world).
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
Originally Posted By: labug
Originally Posted By: Reality Trip
"I want this pain to have a redemptive purpose in my life. I want it to mean something. Pain not transformed is transferred. It would surely lay seed to resentment.
This is a good thought for the day. Thanks for sharing.
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
Bug I am sorry you are feeling down. You keep me and so many of us real and infuse us with strength.
I remember J3B once once wrote to me 'the doldrums' of DBing...given the static sitch. I know you will get through this and also know that we are all here for you.
I also like the report of RT's quote. Its a good reminder of why we do need to keep on going.
(((((((((( )))))))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
This too shall pass, I know, I know But tell me please why is it so That all the best pass so fast And the lousy roll so sloooooooow!
Hey Bug, thanks for checking in on my pal ShockD. She's out in your neighborhood, more or less. All you smart, cool DBers should meet up and make me crazy jealous.
busting said it perfect. you keep us real and give us strength. you have helped me alot. it still amazes me that you drop by my thread to comment and offer advice on my shenanigans..lol
