Crazy little thing called MLC

[Raine]

AJ, I hope you know how amazing you are. I so appreciate your insights on this. Pure, to the point honesty. Thank you for that!

That sounds so familiar with other friends of mine who are D now, the not hearing things, or reinterpreting them. I feel like my H is so much more logical than others. I think he does understand things, but he is more of the not going to listen, at least right now, and tunes things out to the point of forgetting. I know he has to write things down or he will forget to show up.

I wish I had known this was something that was possible. Wow, do I ever. I think I would have acted differently towards H at my first glimpses of something being wrong. I never, ever thought either of us would leave the other. I have never seen anything like my situation with H. Even those other friends of ours who are D, who likely had MLC signs, had some pretty big marital issues and constant fighting.

--

So here comes the grenade. Wait for it...

I think my H did dump all the OW and he is hooking up with random people now...make that a married couple? This is absolutely nuts. Is this really even possible? Yeah I shouldn't know this, not healthy, get a life. Yeah, yeah. But holy crap, what if I didn't know this? Well at least he isn't in a relationship, right? Is that my goal now? Just as long as he still "loves" me, not someone else. Oh my gosh he is so messed up! How is it even possible for someone to flip a switch (at least to the outside world) and become this messed up!? What a fun way to spend your anniversary right? At least someone got laid. :P

Now what? Detach, detach, detach from the guy who is reaching out to me about everything, like I'm his rock, the one keeping him alive? The man who I need to be a father. And if me being there for him or me dropping the rope, gives him any slight chance of not being stuck like this, I would do it, just so he is capable of being the father they deserve.

So, I don't feel angry or sad. I feel super confused and weirded out, and oddly enough relief that he didn't drop all the OW to commit to OW1.

Now who is the messed up one?