I'm still finding myself on my path moving forward with dropping the rope. I have been doing some things for myself and have put some thoughts away that make me crazy. I barely look h in the eyes/face when he speaks to me, and boy does he speak to me.

H has been working 8hrs on - 4hrs off - 8hrs on for the last 2.5 wks, sleeping in between gigs. He explained to me today that he wants to maintain this schedule pushing himself until hopefully he falls from exhaustion.

Can anyone explain this form of self deprecation. It seems to be a out cry -please see my dedication and give me the rewards I so desperately deserve already so I can be relieved of feeling like a looser. Make any sense? NO? But, for the sitch?

He is fixated on the fact that he is worth more dead, so if he pushes himself he will either make it, or die, either way it will be a financial win, which he says is his only goal. I know your not psychiatrist here, but has anyone heard of such self deprecation. Not drugs, or PA, or risky behavior, but death by work?

I stay out of it, pay the bills, keep the house running, as he twirls around. I am just so bewildered! He's not having fun, his MLC is toxic.

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!