I really stepped on it, and am asking for help

[SFC_Swede]

ROFL..I am, but by the time moderation kicks in, you are going to see a flood of posts from me on this subject. I bared my soul in an attempt to know whether or not I should let her just WA.

I had a major break thru for me. I am still paranoid and panicky about another possible EA/PA. Like I said previously, my W has been coming home from OT later and later. I just have that bad gut feeling again, got in my Jeep, and was going to go to where she gets OT...and then go back later to see if she was still there. Also see the interactions with the OT I believe she is involved with. I got a block away...started remembering everything I read on others posts....and turned around and came home.

If she is, she is...nothing I can do will change that. But as I have stated many times...I just wish people would be honest with eachother. Hiding any affair just drags out the worse in all of us.

I do have some belief she is just detached from me. This is a little personal, but I do the family laundry. And her "marital aide" has been getting used frequently...something she normally doesnt do. Its not that I purposely looked, but by my training and experience, I am very observant by nature.

So now here comes the paranoia. Is she doing it to stem any urge to come to me for relief...venting steam...or pleasuring herself to stem the anticipation of her next meeting with the potential OM?

See how this crap can make you nuts????