I understand why you keep contacting her. You want her to say she will stop having him in her life and that she wants you.
I'm sorry sweetie, but, she cant say that right now. That doesnt mean she wont be able to in the future.
But you keep pushing and she is going to make a decision. And right now, it is not going to be you. And even if it was, do you think it would work knowing she did because you forced her to, or worse yet because she's worried you are going to harm yourself?
Come on now, get a handle on your emotions.
J, you've kind of cornered yourself.
At this point, I would just say, this is where I stand regarding om. I cannot allow myself to be in a relationship with you while you are engaged emotionally with another man.
I heard what you said about me regarding you having friends. I am sorry that you felt that way.
And I heard you that you need space and time.
I would like each of us to allow the other the opportunity to figure things out about ourselves.
Or something to that affect. And then please stop contact.
Dont push for something you arent ready to hear.
J, this aint gonna get better til you do something different.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Tell her YOU need time and space. Then take it. YOU need to decide where YOUR head is, what YOU want. One way you will know when you are there is this: you will know what to say to her, you won't need to come here and ask. I think it's clear from your last few pages of posts that you still aren't sure. And that is perfectly fine, this isn't a race. Take your time. Really think things through.
I agree with Adinva that this is not the time to "force" your W into a decision, because any decision she makes right now is going to be against you. So just back off, give her time and space and take time and space for yourself. Figure out what you want. After plenty of thinking you may very well decide you do want to force her to choose. But while you're thinking, consider this- SHE WILL CHOOSE OM. She's not ready to choose you and probably won't be for many months yet. So are you ready to force it, and to hear her say she chooses OM? That's what you need to think about. I would suggest you take at least a couple of weeks.
W, This is where I stand with OM or any other person. I cannot allow myself to be in a relationship where my partner chooses to engage herself physically or emotionally with another man.
I heard you say that you need space and time.
I think that each of us should take time to allow ourselves the opportunity to figure things out about ourselves and what we want.
This is from several suggestions.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
W, This is where I stand with OM or any other person. I cannot allow myself to be in a relationship where my partner chooses to engage herself physically or emotionally with another man.
I heard you say that you need space and time.
I agree and think that each of us should take time to allow ourselves the opportunity to figure things out about ourselves and what we want.
This is from several suggestions. [/quote]
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
I need to answer her, maybe not right now, but in the next day or two.
I think what I have (stolen from others) says what I want. I will wait to calm down more and see if anyone else chimes in.
Thanks for your support MrCAS
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
