Swede, I think you're right. In fact, I still feel insecure in our relationship. My W will tell me one thing, and as far as I can tell, she tells her friends something different, less favorable. For example, she told a friend when asked how things are, "they're going, back to the status quo, we're nice to each other". To me, it's a more positive message. Which one to believe? I think AnotherStander and others have remarked that WAS often 'test' ideas with their friends. I don't know.
A major source of our problems is W's MLC. She has switched gears so much in a short period of time. Consider her work:
Summer 2012: unhappy with what many would consider a dream job of working from home and getting paid well. Dec 2012: New FT job. She was really excited about this new Feb 2013: Hates her new job. March 2013: she wants to return to university for a Master's degree and a new career direction.
She is also hell-bent on replacing all our furniture. We are remodeling the kitchen. She bought a new bed. New pots and outdoor furniture. She wants a new dining room table. She is doing "retail therapy" where shopping makes her feel good. Her new job pays well, and she spends everything she makes.
So I am cautious because she needs to be happy with herself in order for her to truly be happy with our relationship. And this might take a long time.
