Hey JP- Try to take a breath if you can. This correspondense is not going to make or break anything.
IMO I would stop engaging your w at this point. I think maybe if this was down the road and you were further along that you may be able to benefit from getting some insight into how shes feeling at this time.
However, this is causing you extreme pain and right now I think it would be best to back away.
I think it is best for you to state however you choose but something along the lines of-
"Wife, I am no longer able to be in a relationship with you as long as you are with another man"
And then back away and try to again place the focus on yourself.
