Thanks guys....very good points, and I need them. I spent so much time getting to this point, now that I'm there, I'm like "oh $hit!"
Originally Posted By: Accuray
Having to ask, for me, is a non-starter. Who can live with that kind of anxiety. Having her offer the information to you relieves you of having to wonder, and that's what provides comfort and the ability to work on trust.
Totally agree....will definitely make this point. To Mach1's point, yes, we've been talking details....maybe I need to let that go a bit so she doesn't feel so defensive.
Originally Posted By: Accuray
I would play hardball with your boundaries Breakdown, stake out your territory and show her you mean it.
If she thinks that's unreasonable or not doable, she doesn't have to be in a relationship with you and you can put the divorce back on the table. I think she'll be more willing to negotiate than you might expect given where she is, but once she's back in the fold it gets more difficult, so now is the time to figure out what is non-negotiable and stick with it like your life depends on it! (And of course it has to be bi-lateral).
Totally agree. I think I've done pretty good so far. I have reiterated a number of times that "any" crossing of my boundaries and I'm out. At this point, I still feel comfortable moving forward with or without her....but after some time, I can see that becoming an issue.
Originally Posted By: Accuray
There is good information on Pat Love's web site for where you are.
Awesome!! That was exactly what I was looking for...read that a while back and thought it was great, but couldn't find it. With a "boundaries" discussion on Sat, a couple of those are perfect!
