As I explained earlier, I know I did not do myself any favors, and had serious character flaws. I was/am a good guy that would do anything for anyone...but I had a serious drinking problem, and didnt handle relationships well.
Well, I am in Iraq in 2003. I couldnt shake this feeling that something was wrong back home. Something ate at me. I confronted my W several times, but never got an answer, but denials. I continued to pressure, and eventually, she told me that it was over. We agreed to not press a D until I got home, and the rest of that deployment was HELL. Well, when I did get home, I found out the bad news...she was in a PA for several months...as recently as the week before I returned. I found out because, due to security reasons, I had a key logger installed. All the IMs, emails, ect came rushing forth in very graphic detail....it DEVESTATED ME.
We separated for a couple weeks, but she eventually invited me back. I went and got counseling for my drinking and began the steps to recovery. We also went to MC, but it was more about me than the R, and became a place to dump on me. I just sat there and took it all in. In the end, I became a doormat to save our marriage. She is convinced the PA wasnt a big deal because in her words, "I told you it was over". In her head it wasnt an A, and to this day, I am not allowed to bring it up. I made what I thought were many significant changes to better myself and the R. But it always seemed there was something else that ate away at it.
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Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
