Hit hard still taking another step forward.

[AnotherStander]

I really wish from the bottom of my heart that when she told me she was dating I told her how that honestly made me feel. Too late now. What has happened AFAIK is because of this process good and bad.

Keep in mind that she's still a WAS. Don't believe anything she says and only half of what she does. She may say she dated because she didn't think you cared, but it's more likely that she's just making excuses, trying to make it sound like it's actually YOUR fault that she was messing around. I seriously doubt she thought you were done and had moved on.

But to answer your question, yes I do believe that acting "as if" can make them think anything that they can conjure up in their minds to why we don't seem affected by it all. They could think you have moved on, don't care, found someone else, had a mental breakdown...

Lets face it acting "as if" is pretty much acting that you are done. Unless they know otherwise why wouldn't they think we are done?

Acting "as if" means maintaining a PMA, showing your spouse a content, happy you that is going to be fine in life whether with or without your spouse (but preferably with). It doesn't mean being cold and indifferent or ignoring your spouse, so if it's done as part of good DB'ing then the WAS may wonder if they -might- lose the LBS, but they're not going to think the LBS is done.

I don't see why this was her wake up call, it's not like I had been dark for weeks/months but it did do something.

I'm not convinced there was a wake up call involved. It's more likely that when you gave her time and space and when she dated, she realized the grass wasn't greener elsewhere. But she likely came to this decision on her own as a result of getting that time and space.

You've seen some positive signs, but keep in mind that 5 days ago you posted this: "Even though the last week has been one of the hardest, it now feels like my sitch has hit rock bottom in a certain way." Just remember you're still DB'ing! Take it slow, let her set the pace. You're seeing some positive signs, but there are going to be a lot of ups and downs in piecing (if/ when you start piecing) just like there have been in DB'ing.

"Oh wait it's the 2nd worse one. The worst one is at Six Flags."

You must mean the Titan? It's not the worst, it's the bestest!!!! The kids and I get season tickets every year and Titan is a regular stop on our trips there. The Texas Giant is awesome too, since they remodeled it it's a fantastic experience! Can't say I'm a big fan of Batman and Mr. Freeze, I get vertigo on them. Love the big coasters though!