We did agree to get together again Saturday morning to discuss boundaries. She already knows where I stand, but she wants to make sure it's the same on both sides. I have reiterated again and again that no contact is mandatory as is transparency and truthfulness....anything less and I'm out, and I mean that. OM is pressing her hard and trying to manipulate her (i.e. "I'm on the way to the hospital"), but so far she seems to have remained strong.
Like I told you the other night.
Make it PERFECTLY CLEAR, that your boundaries are for yourself, and for the marriage. They are in no way, to punish her for anything....
And that is the line that you risk crossing, between a boundary and being controlling. And it is damned easy to cross that line.
I also think that you need to define the contact a little more.
Contact IS going to happen, although it should only be that he is contacting her. The boundary should be something like...
There will be no contact initiated by her, and everything she receives, she will tell you about.
