Thanks Acc. That's good advice. Perhaps we won't read the whole After the Affair, but rather, focus on the chapters of rebuilding the trust and the relationship. She's not a big reader anyway so she'll be thrilled to cut it down to the stuff that applies. I'll skim it first to see if that makes sense....I also have the others, so I'll check those out too.
We did agree to get together again Saturday morning to discuss boundaries. She already knows where I stand, but she wants to make sure it's the same on both sides. I have reiterated again and again that no contact is mandatory as is transparency and truthfulness....anything less and I'm out, and I mean that. OM is pressing her hard and trying to manipulate her (i.e. "I'm on the way to the hospital"), but so far she seems to have remained strong.
Originally Posted By: Accuray
She did not own her affair, she justified it. For a brief honeymoon period she worked on piecing with me but then went back to "you must accept me as I am and to ask anything different is a failure on your part to love me unconditionally and indicates that we are just incompatible."
My W mostly justified as well, at least up until recently. She opened up a few days ago and told me how ashamed she was, but I still don't feel like she's been very apologetic. It's not like she's saying "please give me a chance"...it's more like she knows I want to work on it and is saying, "ok." That bothers me a bit.
