You're right in my so-called H being controlling, but he doesn't come across as being so.
The best ones never do come across that way - thats why they are so powerful.
Think, to much worse extremes of course, Ted Bundy the American Serial Killer. He hid his evil so successfully behind a torrent of charm - even his trial judge liked him.
Its hard to see the whole forest when your view is blocked by all the damn trees But you aren't alone in this - IMHO 99% of the population does this to some extent, thats why we repeat our problems.
Divorce, like marriage, can be "just a piece of paper". If it suits you financially to remain married then do so. But it seems like you aren't yet divorced in mind and heart? I'm somewhere in this neighborhood myself... more than 51% sure I don't want to continue M but can't push that meter all the way to 100%.
You said it would be easier if your H had been "mean and horrible". From what I can tell, he has been both... makes me wonder what exactly he'd have to do to qualify on your scale?
Best of luck to you Being
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
But you aren't alone in this - IMHO 99% of the population does this to some extent, thats why we repeat our problems.
