A New Me 4

[JuneReN]

Okay, DBing will save your azz in the early days. But you have to do what works for you. If the 180 is not to ignore, then don't. Don't go crazy, still live your own life, GAL etc. but if a text is well received then do it. What I am NOT advocating is ramping up the text machine cuz one got good results. (are you listening in it? lol)
If you go back in my sitch, I was a text a holic. I said to H why don't we talk? He said it is easier to say things by text...now we talk, but the early days were defined by email and text.

BTW, you are not weak because you love your wife. Weak is not fighting for it, not standing when everyone says get out. Not facing your fears and weaknesses, those things are weak. And you are not.

[jp787]

Okay, DBing will save your azz in the early days. But you have to do what works for you. If the 180 is not to ignore, then don't. Don't go crazy, still live your own life, GAL etc. but if a text is well received then do it. What I am NOT advocating is ramping up the text machine cuz one got good results. (are you listening in it? lol)
If you go back in my sitch, I was a text a holic. I said to H why don't we talk? He said it is easier to say things by text...now we talk, but the early days were defined by email and text.

BTW, you are not weak because you love your wife. Weak is not fighting for it, not standing when everyone says get out. Not facing your fears and weaknesses, those things are weak. And you are not.

Thanks. Idk what to do or not do. She changes daily and I never know what to expect. I guess when I think back to what urworthy and mach1 have drilled into my head I just need to worry and focus on me. Not worry about my W right now. If I continue to try to do all the right things, I wont be working on me. Man this is not only hard, it's terrifying.

I stayed home today, slept all day long. What a horrible waist, yet I was so down and out I didn't want to face anything.

Tomorrow get up and do what I need to do.

I have yet to really push forward and do what I really need to do. Fear and lack of energy, guess the only was is to push forward, at least a little more than I did the day before.

I think I believe I am lazy, thus I become lazy. Maybe, just maybe if I think I am productive and can do it, I will.

[JuneReN]

Half the battle is fake it til you make it

If you can't get W out of mind, ie I want to text her. Ask yourself "How will this help me"? Just you. Will it lead to anxiety? Not helping. Will it lead to the hamster on the wheel? Not helping. Will it make you happy only to ratchet up anxiety when the answer doesn't come or is not the one you want? Not helping.

You can see where I am going with this. It's like that old joke with a twist..."Enough about W, what do you think about W?"

[jp787]

I wish there was an off switch to thinking about her. Someone was talking about that there is a chemical that is released in your brain like when you first fall in love and it is the same for LBS, maybe AS.

Well this certainly [censored].

I agree with what you say. I continually do thingss that make it harder for me, well geez that is not helping.

I must try some meditation.

[Jeack]

I wish there was an off switch to thinking about her. Someone was talking about that there is a chemical that is released in your brain like when you first fall in love and it is the same for LBS, maybe AS.

Well this certainly [censored].

I agree with what you say. I continually do thingss that make it harder for me, well geez that is not helping.

I must try some meditation.

It's called GAL. I've found that going to the gym is the best release of serotonin. I preferably like to place myself in the second row of treadmills behind a girl wearing yoga pants. LOL. Seriously our situation [censored]. But it's only as bad as we make it.

Dont let someone else control your happiness. We could be gone tomorrow. consider when you wake up a blessing that were still here. This earth is populated plenty of wonderful people. Me for one is not ready to find another one but I don't mid the scenery at the gym at the same time. Gives me motivation, for myself to work out harder.

[jp787]

I work at a college and joined the college gym. I feel like a dirty old man...

[MrCAS]

I like the building statement... You can build something made with bricks of crap or something worthwhile.

My W used to say to me..."Some people look at a glass as half full... some half empty... you look at it and wonder who the hell stole your water."

[Jeack]

I work at a college and joined the college gym. I feel like a dirty old man...

I also work at a lot of college campus's dorms ect. Who cares they may find you as a cougar lol. your doing all this for you, right? Honestly I'm 75% detached and i'm feeling really relived. At first I was jealous of everyone having contact with there W and e having none. But it really gives me time to reflect on me and what I want.

Also I have a Wedding Friday and Saturday to Dj. Before I would get down about it. But now I'm going to make sure these people have the time of there lives

[uRworthy]

Hiya J, how are you, sweetie? I see you going round and round about seeing your wife.

I just wanted to put something out there. What she needs to see and you need to make are real changes. I know you are thinking that you didnt pay enough attention to her in the marriage and now you think you should. But, she may be thinking, ok, he is just doing this because I said I wanted out of the marriage.

And I think this was probably not a good thing for you. You had an expectation and when it wasnt met, it has set you back.

The only way she will see that you have really changed, is if you really change. The way for it to be real is for you to do it for you.

Because I'm thinking that you dont want to continue to feel the way you do. And as long as the focus is on her and not you looking inward, you will continue to.

So, new day tomorrow, right? Get back to it.

If you can't get W out of mind, ie I want to text her. Ask yourself "How will this help me"? Just you. Will it lead to anxiety? Not helping. Will it lead to the hamster on the wheel? Not helping. Will it make you happy only to ratchet up anxiety when the answer doesn't come or is not the one you want? Not helping.

I like that ^^^^.

There's some bold and color for you, teach! LOL!

[jp787]

Hiya J, how are you, sweetie? I see you going round and round about seeing your wife.

I just wanted to put something out there. What she needs to see and you need to make are real changes. I know you are thinking that you didnt pay enough attention to her in the marriage and now you think you should. But, she may be thinking, ok, he is just doing this because I said I wanted out of the marriage.

And I think this was probably not a good thing for you. You had an expectation and when it wasnt met, it has set you back.

The only way she will see that you have really changed, is if you really change. The way for it to be real is for you to do it for you.

Because I'm thinking that you dont want to continue to feel the way you do. And as long as the focus is on her and not you looking inward, you will continue to.

So, new day tomorrow, right? Get back to it.

If you can't get W out of mind, ie I want to text her. Ask yourself "How will this help me"? Just you. Will it lead to anxiety? Not helping. Will it lead to the hamster on the wheel? Not helping. Will it make you happy only to ratchet up anxiety when the answer doesn't come or is not the one you want? Not helping.

I like that ^^^^.

There's some bold and color for you, teach! LOL!

Thank you. I always get a smile when I see that you have posted to my thread.

It is crazy how your thoughts are so powerful over you, good or bad.

Good job on the bold and color, your a pro now
You even picked a color Mach1 can see

BTW don't tell Mach1 I smile when I see that you have posted, as I cringe when I see his name, but only because I know he has some truth that I need to hear!

You both are special people