Unlearning conflict avoidance 4

[LuckyLuke]

Hola 25, Mr. Bond, needgrace,

Thank you for the suggestions. Yes, it was very good to talk real stuff with 25. I generally feel like I am intruding if I ask someone I know stuff like this, but it seems like it is not? Oddly, two of our friends told me how hard their marriages had been recently...

It'd be interesting to step a bit closer to my French guy running/drumming friend, whom I admire.

Mr. Bond - there was just a good commercial for a PC that my son wants on TV - I will email him and suggest that he look it up and that we Skype - thanks. He is very precious to me.

25 - my D asked one day after I recounted how my day had been what I had felt, not only what had happened - funny how she has insight - I tried to Skype her this morning, but it didn't work out. She painfully, but sympathetically, asked one day whether I wasn't lonely sleeping downstairs too...

Thank you for all the suggestions on the letter also. I had a good Sunday, up at the Getty Center, and then at a music event with excellent singers from Georgia (the country). I'll try to convey some of the thrill that I experienced on hearing them.

It's off to the Midwest tomorrow, traveling with my boss - probably offline for a few days.

The horse trainer woman was 6 feet and maybe 200 pounds, not someone you want to meet in a dark alley, but was interesting to talk to (these airplane encounters can be good).

Luke

[LuckyLuke]

Journaling - no word from W for a week now -

Luke

[MrBond]

What was your last correspondence with her like?

[LuckyLuke]

Hi Mr. Bond,

Here is my most recent mail to her:

Hi -,

I spoke to (our son) this morning, who said he hadn't heard much from you recently either - is everything okay there?

I saw the program for (the town's annual cultural festival) and imagine you (and (our daughter) ) must have been very busy with it and other stuff. How did it go?

(My boss) and I ran a half marathon yesterday, along with 10 000 others, which was nicely routed along the (ocean and an ocean inlet). (My boss) ran in 1.39, but doesn't feel too well today. I ran in (about 2-1/2 hours), nearly my goal of under 2.30. Maybe the next one will go better.

The paper had an article yesterday about Trader Joe's ginger candies - we should throw these out - which have excessive lead in them. Consumer Reports had tested and found this.

Please write if you have a few minutes - it would be wonderful to hear from you, and how you are doing, even if just a snippet.

(Luke)

[LuckyLuke]

Oh, the boyfriend of my MIL asked about why I was going to Philadelphia. I told him (and MIL) that this was for a personal workshop because of a late MLC. They didn't dig more after that, but I wonder if my W will find out also (which I suppose is good).

Luke

[LuckyLuke]

And here is her most recent mail, from April 25:

Hi (Luke)
All those things are (daughter's) birthday things from (her uncle), there also should be a klezmer music book?
There is no news on the high school admissions front, I thought I would try to call them today if I get a chance.
Otherwise, very busy and running around,
Did you get hindered by the Lufthansa strike?
(wife)

[MrBond]

Your W's message is very business-like. I assume it's a result of how the two of you normally communicated. Just give it time.

[LuckyLuke]

So I do nothing? Perhaps emailing her more would be not detaching and giving her space? It'd be nice to hear from her, but if it is better to keep radio silence, that is fine.

Ran another half marathon last weekend - had my best (but still slow) time yet.

Luke

[LuckyLuke]

And now work needs me to go to Germany in two weeks. I would be gone 60 hours. On this trip to the States I will have been gone for a month.

Not having heard anything from my W for two weeks, I am loathe to write her and ask if that works (and perhaps or even probably I do not need to ask) for her.

Do I just book the flights and not ask? I am guessing the answer is yes.

Thanks,

Luke

[adinva]

Courtesy dictates you let her know. It would be weird to ask her if it works for her...are you going to reject the work trip if she says it doesn't work for her? You don't ask permission to take a work trip, you just share the info and make the plans. Right?