Quote: While CAW may directly benefit from my compassion, she also may choose to reject it ... either way it really doesn't matter to me ... I'm doing it soothe my inner-self so that one day I can have some inner-peace.
I didn't quite phrase the last part correctly. For most days now, I do have more inner-peace. Of course, I have nearly two years of practice (including last night), to get to where I am today.
Quote: Now he feels guilty, and that is uncomfortable so I worry that he will find yet more ways to make that "my fault", leading to more resentments...and back around the circle again. ... I think this guilt thing is going to continue to be a big problem for him. I have seen the way he beats himself up over things he feels guilty about way back in his past. He tries to shove it all into a dark closet, but when it comes up, he's brutal to himself.
Tal, frankly it could take years for him to come to terms with his guilt ... and as long as it takes ... each time he wrestle with himself, you need to continue to do what works that keeps you steadfast from being a part of his problem, whether that be giving space, acting with compassion or just doing nothing ... or whatever else works for you to ride out one of his episodes, so that when the episode subsides he will be drawn back to you. Once you find out what works, trust me! ... you'll get plenty of practice. ... and less and less will he look for reasons for it to be "your" fault.
... and less and less will he look for reasons for it to be "your" fault.
