Letting Go & Moving Forward

[JuneReN]

Hmmm...I threw my ring into the ocean (drove 5 hours to do so...).

In my case, I know what I have is awesome If H wants it fine, if he doesn't, it will be his loss.

[bustingout]

GTO you sound good. I agree with AS...its your choice about the ring...decide how it makes you feel.

[littleGTO]

Thanks, Tallula, AS, ruby and bustin'!

It is so good to hear from you, T!:) What are you out GALing???!! 7 months already? WOW- time is sure flying! My S11 ended up mowing the lawn (supervised, of course) & he & I felt really good together!!!

bustin', your H's father died just before things started to change w your H, correct? How much of an impact do u think this had on your H changing life's direction?

Ok, I'll admit I'm a "jewelry girl." Gifts is my 2nd LL. They just have such meaning for me & my H nailed that about me so I have amazing jewelry he bought me over the years. Now, except for my wedding ring I can't bear to wear any of it. The "luster" is gone. Don't know what I'll do with it all, but that's for later. (ruby, the ocean sounds good!)

H said he's going to his C again tomorrow as he feels the need to see him (he hasn't gone in a while & he's admitted to me that he hasn't been doing well lately). Not going to attach any meaning to this, good or bad, just INTERESTING (as AS would say)!

Was Special Person for my S9 at his school today & was so HAPPY to be there. YES, I SAID THE "H" WORD!!! It brought me such joy to see him up singing & performing & then to walk around & have him show me his classroom & take me to the PTO plant sale & help me buy some flowers (he picked some out for Mother's Day too)! He's definitely my momma's boy !

No meeting w L today- was postponed to next week. Was glad as I didn't want D talk to spoil my good mood.

[Tallula]

That's awesome GTO!!

I stopped wearing mine, then I'll randomly put it on. I do know when we D, I'm selling them and using the money for a tattoo I'm designing. Weeee!!!

I'm running, working out, putzing around the garden, hanging with my friends. Same ole stuff.

You are doing great, mama!

[JuneReN]

LOL!! LOve the tat idea.....

Of course you are his special person....duh.... (joking )

I love you and have no trouble at all imagining how special you are.

[littleGTO]

Thanks again, T & ruby,
I so look forward to coming on here and seeing that some people care enough to check in w me frequently and comment/advise!

Something really weird to share. I have a male co-worker/friend who has been in a marital crisis about the same timeframe I have. We have confided in each other and help each other by talking and giving support for the past year.

I have no feelings for him beyond friendship but his friendship means A LOT to me. He and I are getting SPLIT at work due to professional situation and it is really eating at me that we won't be together to provide each other the same support in the coming months (when I feel I most likely will going thru a D).

We talked today & I shared w him my emotions about the sitch. We both agreed that our friendship is in NO WAY inappropriate (even if our spouses knew about it).

I do have so many other people who support me in similar ways & even a couple other people at work. But, NO ONE is in a similar situation except him. There is some comfort in talking with him (it's kind of like peer-counseling...like coming here but getting the support in person).

The odd part is that we are physically separated at work it might feel a bit ODD or look ODD if he & I were getting together at lunch or whatever, whereas now it is perfectly acceptable/natural. Not to us, I don't think, but maybe to others.

DOn't know if any of you want to chime in on this, but I want to reiterate it is completely a friendship...in fact, I am very much (honestly) rooting for his M to work!

[littleGTO]

FYI, it is INTERESTING that my angst today is about this friendship vs. my H.....

Maybe I have made some movement forward!

[ForeverYoung]

Hi Turtle. I like the last few posts I read from you. You sound much stronger.

You and man friend are building an emotional connection. That's how many affairs start. Denial is part of it too! Just sayin'. Carry on.

[littleGTO]

FY, I do FEEL stronger at times.

BTW- the friendship I have is similar to my friendships here--based on friends trying to save their M's. Plus, I am not attracted to him (& therefore it feels very "safe" to me).

GALs this weekend-
Tomorrow- going walking w 2 GFs to "talk & walk." Then after scrambling my boys around to where they need to go am off to an evening of VB (meetup- 2nd time)!

Saturday- ball games for half the day (unless it rains) then off to see my SIL & her girls for a play one of them is in.

Sunday (Mother's Day)-- church in am then probably off to shop w a GF (although can't afford to spend any money) UNLESS FIL comes over (as I invited him b/c he will be alone for the first time ever after his wife/my MIL passed in August), then I'll probably hang around w him at home...hmmmm, hope that doesn't mean H thinks he's coming over to hang out too.

Since I am playing VB tomorrow night and S11 is going to a sleepover party I offered up the idea for S9 & S14 to sleep over at H's apartment to which he replied, "Sleeping over is over-rated."

INTERESTING COMMENT. S9 & S14 have only slept over twice & S11 has only slept over once in 6 months. It doesn't seem as though H is jumping at the opportunity to have more time w the boys. Someone who said, "I have been thinking about having them sleep over every Saturday night," a month ago then back-pedaled the next day.

Actually, it suits me fine that the boys don't sleep over at his apartment as I like having them here w me. And, they are old enough to stay home in evenings w/o me if I want to go out for a while (like VB).

Oh, and boys & I are having a party on Sunday over Memorial Day weekend! Haven't told H yet, but don't think he'll even consider coming....IF I invite him (just kidding, I will b/c I know it's opening the door).

H hasn't been much of a socialite over the years, except when in vacation-mode. Then he's the life of the party! Interesting now how I am starting to have more of a social life than I've EVER had in my M.

You all are invited to our party, BTW!!!!