[in_it]

Thanks uRworthy. You are absolutely correct. I want the OW to know in hopes of their relationship ending. I want it to be out there so bad as fast as possible so I can know if it will be over between them. I know that doesn't guarantee anything in our relationship or that he will even come back at that point. I think Tallula said it best yesterday when wanting the feeling of her not to win. It makes me feel like if she knew that she would be 'winning' at that point & let him go.

You're also right on the money when talking about her being a bandaid. I think it's almost comical that she is now the OW knowing her husband cheated on her. I don't know if I've told the story or not, but early on…back in February H went to church with OW & her entire family. The sermon that Sunday was 'Affair Proofing your Marriage'. H told me about this the day he returned home. It hit both of them hard. He didn't go in to details about their conversation afterwards but he did say that she doesn't want to be or never wanted to be the OW. Well, guess what? She is. Her family is very involved with their church & that sermon did not sit well with any of them. I think about this a lot. Probably too much.

That's another thing…I know it's toxic for my thoughts to be surrounded by her. I do really good on some days, but most I just can't get her out of my head. I just wish she would go away. I can't help it.

Thanks for your thoughts & words. It truly is stuff that I need to be told daily. Stuff I already know, but when see it written out to me helps tremendously.

Another question…H's dad has a birthday on Saturday. We are suppose to go to a party that evening with his family. I'm debating when it's party time to just say I'm tired & not feeling up to it & staying home. Should I? I don't know if I should continue to do all of this family stuff & act as if there is nothing going on around others? I've also had some anxiety about telling people I'm pregnant. How do I go about that? Just wait for my belly to grow & address the questions as they come in? I'm hoping I have another month before that. I started showing around 12 weeks with baby #2 & I'll be 8 weeks tomorrow.