My wife moved out on 3/30. We haven’t spoken very much about our R, only two short instances when I just needed to know some stuff. That’s been a few weeks ago.
Communication between us has been fairly slim, normally just an email every few days or so. We haven’t verbally spoken for a week and a half or spoken in writing since last Friday. I haven’t seen her in 17 days, our longest stint since we met. I’d say about half of all our conversations have been initiated by me. All our conversations have been pleasant though. When we did communicate it was just about daily stuff…like friends would discuss. We haven’t argued at all, although arguing really didn’t exist in our relationship.
After doing a lot of reading on these forums I’m thinking about stopping initiating contact. I’m not sure though that this is the best thing to do. I really feel that she needs the time and space without interference by me to think through things…that she needs to have the chance to miss me. I’m just really scared about it. I’m afraid that she might view this as not caring about us anymore. And never has she told me NOT to contact her. I’m also afraid that if she thinks I’m not trying anymore that she will find it easier to let go. She may lose any desire to contact me.
With initiation, something similar happened in our sex life. It seems that we got in the habit of talking turns to initiate. After a while (and this is just my view as we never talked about it) we got to the point that each of us was waiting for the other to initiate. This caused very long periods w/o sex (6-12 months). I’m afraid that we may fall into this same scenario with respect to initiating contact.
So conflicted!!!
Me:38, Wife:36 M:8 T:13 No kids Bomb:3/10/13 W moved out:3/30/13 Started D paperwork: 10/14/13 D final: 12/30/13 To a future of love and happiness...
