break it down more........what will you have done by Monday- what is the measurement used to define the success?
as you will learn(to be successful)it isnt about her. ITS ALL ABOUT YOU!
you are in a interesting spot. As a PT you could find yourself easily tempted in your emotional state. Especially if W is having A
Redesign those goals and post them
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Great point. If I had to think of some very short term goals, it would be:
1. To stop checking our phone bill everyday! I must stop that!! MUST...
That is the most pressing thing right now for me to DETACH. I'm good with the not calling or texting. But Not so much the other. Because i've always told my self I would have to leave if that happens so its like i'm looking to catch something, that will be the impetus for me to say im done. My ex wife did the samething. Swore there was no one and it was. And this feels the same except she is always home, my ex never was.
As far as the PT thing you are right. I make sure I remain vigilant when it comes to that. It's just so surreal because part of the reason we are here is because of my dealings with other women. So i'm being VERY careful not to go there. I've been in 2 marriages now both women completely different in many ways, but they have both told me the same things about my dealings with them. So they can't both be wrong...
Everyday its me vs. me! That's what I tell myself and my clients all the time. I have to be better than the person looking back at me in the mirror! I'm receiving so much great advice her and the 37 rules a GOLDEN. Now I just have to stop snooping!
Sounds like you're making positive changes with your short term goals. Keep going strong!
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Is there a specific piece of certification that you can complete by Monday??
Will catching her make YOU feel better?
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
No on the cert, just more studying. No to catching her, not at all. Too late for today as far as snooping, let's just start small and shoot for the rest of the day! I will get better though because even though I find nothing I continue to look.
Hi CL... just so you are not alone, every time I have snooped ~ I find nothing either. It's a good sign!! So, I have given up snooping. YOU SHOULD TOO!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
It's just so surreal because part of the reason we are here is because of my dealings with other women. So i'm being VERY careful not to go there. I've been in 2 marriages now both women completely different in many ways, but they have both told me the same things about my dealings with them. So they can't both be wrong...
I must have missed something. What was your dealings with other women?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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