No longer treading water, must either sink or swim

[Fartiltre]

Hi Grizz

I have had the same question in my head for some days and in fact I posted it in my thread and got some answers there. Perhaps you can use these to something.

At the moment my stand is that I won’t help. I do not think I will be able to handle it well, I don’t feel like helping her since it is her project and I don’t want her to move.
…but it is for sure a difficult question!

Some of the answers I got (in short)

She's a grown person and should not need her husband's help to make a budget to leave the family. You do not have to help with that. You have enough to do to figure out how you are going to move on without her. It was nice of you to offer to help, but that sounds like a landmine and emotionally difficult for you. You can be nice but suggest that isn't really your role and you don't feel comfortable working on that with her right now. If you can handle it, well it is nice of you and validating that you accept what she's doing, so it could be argued both ways.

Whether you help or not she will do it with or without you, if she asks I would do it with the thought in the back of your head that you are doing this to show how strong you are as a person and you will get your wife back one day.

Some say help the WAW with her move out plans, while others say not to help her with anything. IJMO, I believe you should tell her you aren't comfortable in assisting her to leave the R.

I know this isn’t much help since it seems there are a lot of opinions in the area.
This is about you, what you feel like and what you can handle! Don’t think about her or D – focus on you and how your action will make you feel and decide accordingly to this.