Yes Zoo--and others I have neglected to mention. I'm trying to digest what JJ said, but he answered a ? with a ?
A lot of the frustration seems to be around feeling that we need to talk things through with our mates, in order to process things, and that just ain't happening for most of us.
I think a lot of us suppressed this stuff in order to get our M's stabilized but that came at a price. We don't want our mates to ever feel that we are pulling out the infidelity to beat them over the head with, but we want our M's to be stronger and better.
I think another common theme I can see is that, after being taken to hell and back, then DBing our butts off, a lot of us would like to hear some appreciation or validation from our mates for all of it.
I know that I am more fortunate than most, because I do occasionally get some short and cryptic statements from Wolfie. For instance, before he moved back home, I once asked him if he ever felt grateful or appreciative that I had fought for our R and hadn't given up on him. His answer was, "Yeah, sure!". A few weeks ago, this came up again. I asked him if he was still glad he'd come home & he said "yeah, I am. I TOLD you before that I feel very fortunate."
I am wondering how "yeah, sure" was a whole long explination that went over my head
I guess I'm wondering if it is too much to ask--or damaging in some way--to state what we really need in terms of discussing and processing, and ask if they can even meet us half way?
