The Year of Seismic Activity

[Jamesjohn]

I've been thinking about the many commonalities in the stages we are at. I know, from hearing from you all, that my thoughts and emotions are apparently normal--and that is a huge relief.

Most DEFINITELY "normal"! Isn't that almost kind of scary?!

We talk about things like:
Triggers of annaversaries
Post-tramatic type nightmares
Feeling the need to keep evidence of the affair
Feeling like we subjugate our emotions--protecting our spouses from our stuggles
Not believing that our partners are our allies in healing--feeling that we are alone--not feeling that we can ask for what we need
Dealing with the disparity of the person you thought you were married to--the person who betrayed you on the most intimate level in many ugly ways--and the person that we are now having a relationship with.

Have I left any major ones out?

These are ALL great things to talk about, and to try to find solutions for, that don't seem to be specifically addressed anywhere.

If we were to start looking at some of the "in depth" solutions to any of these topics, which ones do you think or feel would be the most important to tackle first? Or, might there be any that taking care of one thing might help to solve the other?

Where's a good place to start?