We are still participating in Retrouvaille follow-up sessions on Saturday nights and we are doing our dialogues nearly every night. We've missed 3 total. We are communicating more than ever before about our feelings, etc. We are not losing our tempers and sometimes can laugh about all of this.
But he has not changed his plans to move out. He says he is listening to everything and agrees with so much of it intellectually but cannot get his head around the notion that "love is a choice, or a decision." He doesn't buy it. He is waiting for the feelings to come back for me and they haven't.
Retrouvaille also talks about forgiveness and I have asked him for forgiveness via one of the writing exercises (for withdrawing from him, for not addressing his emotional needs, for withdrawing sexually, for not getting treatment sooner for my depression.)
He has not done the same exercise and, in fact, said he is not sure he needs to ask for my forgiveness. THis is just not the man I married. I just wonder what I am fighting for when he just seems so stuck.
It takes two to get to where we are and I have taken responsibility for my actions but he really has not done the same. I guess this is to be expected, right?
I am just tired. We have so many good things going for us as a couple and as a family. I was out with girlfriends last weekend who bitched about their husbands non-stop. I have never done that (only in my head!) and they seem so miserable. Here H and I are getting along better than ever, communicating in a whole new way, possibly opening up the door to a whole new way of living together and yet he can't commit.
Am trying really hard to just be patient but am not sure any more what I am doing. It's been over a year since the BD of ILYBIANILWU
(((thanks for listening)))
Me 47/H 47 M 19/T 21 S 11 S 11 BD #1: April 2012 H Moved out 11/2012 for 2 months BD #2: H "can't do this anymore, wants divorce" 4/10/2013 Retrouvaille 4/19/2013
