I get all this but at this point i dont see how i can get myself out of this bad spot. Yes im hurting bad very very bad. I truly do not think it was me that caused all this to happen. But I am sure that being honest i played a part. But i keep saying that if it was not the gay GF that came around all the time then i would not be where i am not. my hate is so bad at this person. i think it started at a EA then dug deeper in by this person. I am so messed up in the head i have a hard time dealing with the basic things in life. I just fell that why should this WAW has a good happy life and im stuck here with nothing. hurting. Not that i wish the hurt on anyone but i just wish i could know if WAW is having a hard time as well.
now comes this part she is now Gay as far as im told. is this a deal breaker i do not think so. I am holding on and trying to let God guide me but i can not deal at this point. Why should she be so happy about things and so willing to not file a divorce or separation or anything.
i talked to coach and got a path and a few things to do. she said at this point if im still willing to work to try to work on the WAW then she said at this point with the current info we hit the reset button and start from the beginning. No contact or very little and a letter saying I get it and this has been done before but it has to be about her current life change.this is fine but i need a place to live first. and honestly I want to know where she lives. it is just eating me up inside. i will find out some how. I just sometimes feel that noting i do will ever work and or she will never come back and am i wasting all my time. I jusy want to be happy again and well with my wife. but if this is not working then whay to i keep trying. i also feel like how can i ever fins some one again if we do divorce you guys and ladies need to know that my WAW did give me a STD. how can i move on with some one having this problem. is that why i am hanging on to her so much. who knows. I just to be happy and hate that fact that i let someone do this to me make me the person i am today
