Time, Space and Proof

[moth76]

W engaged in several conversations with me over the weekend. Good opportunities to listen to her and validate her feelings.

She talked about how she misses me, but then is still really mad at me sometimes. Told me how great I have been with our son. Said she is still very confused and doesn't know what to do. She also said that she sees the changes happening and still can't understand how I can be so calm about out sitch. She told me that part of her wants it all to just be over and to tell me to move on. She made a comment about there being plenty of women in the world.

But then she said that the thought of me with someone else made her upset, and she was upset that our sitch put me on the path of becoming a better person but someone else was going to enjoy the improvements instead of her. ( that comment almost made me spill the beans and just say something stupid like "well let's just work it out then"...learning to keep my mouth shut and not belittle her feelings.)

She asked me what I felt, I told her that my happiness starts with me, and that is what I choose every day. She asked what I want from our sitch, I told her for now my hope is that we can reconcile. But I understand she needs to feel right about her own decisions. There is no pressure to make any choices at this moment but I am going to keep moving forward and will not live in a limbo state indefinitely.

All in all I feel like I handled the interactions well. I am sure I could have said some things differently but I am not worried about one misstep. Just going to keep focusing on my growth. W can decide what she wants. I will be fine either way.