There's gotta be soo much more out there than living in loneliness, waiting with real expectations, and giving more than you get.
i know- and me too. there does have to be more. i'm insulted pretty much of the time- this business of someone else being soooooooo more hugely desireable in every way- well, puts my own back up. if that's the case- put your money where your mouth is and get the heck out of my life -
wouldn't you think????? soooo they get to sling around the pain to us - while they fiddle around being jerks and never ever even having the maturity and decency to decide what they are doing- what it's doing to someone else - and DO THE RITE THING>
I'M SOOOOO CHEESY- but that's the bottom line isn't it? you don't do this to other people in life.
oh well-i'm not free of his misery yet. i don't think mine has misery- i think he has greed. just like akid- they want everything and don't have the brain power to look at the "going out" when they're "going in". i do not care if he suffers- i still feel the pain of the rejection. i guess it goes away someday.
i wonder if i should get on phone and tell him i don't want to talk to him while he's gone. if he wants to come here i can't stop him- i'll give ride from airport. then i remember who i'm dealing with - what i know and think i can't yet- not til i have a fulltime - serious $$ job. it made me pick up phone yesterday- regale him with some tales of the horror middleschool day- and get off quick.
i guess still need to stick here til i've got my own future secure. i do not want to be homeless- poor and lonely.
if i've got to be lonely- don't need rest. gotta run
