Thanks for your feedback Sage and Shiny--my two old friends here who have been there from the beginning!

I am trying to crawl out of the depths of FUNK-LAND. This afyernoon, we had a few minutes together before he had to go to work. I was surprised that he started a conversation by saying he was sorry that I had such a hard day yesterday. I told him that I don't think about this crap on a daily basis, but yesterday was hard and I still feel so violated! I said that I was very glad that he had finally figured out what he wants and how much he loves me, but what a mind-f**k it is to have had it come at such a cost.

He said he still feels VERY guilty about causing so much turmoil and pain and he beats himself up everyday. It was hard for me to hear that, like Shiny's H, Wolfie is no-where near forgiving himself.

So I said I want him to try to do the hardest thing: to come to me and talk to me when he was feeling overcome with guilt because I want us to be allies in each other's healing--because that can only help to bring us closer and strengthen our R.

I told him that I was working hard to trust and to open up to him about my most vulnerable feelings, and that I just really need to know that no one else can ever come between us again. I said I think we have a really good thing together and it is very precious to me.

He said it is very precious to him too.

So there we are, me and Wolfie...the walking wounded.