Hit hard still taking another step forward.

[T1000]

Hi T (Again)

Just a question!

Definitely wish I never acted 'as if' that's for sure.

...makes me think!


Do you by now and after your talk believe that act-as-if can be so good that WAW simply believe we are gone?

I have several times posted that I was unsure if my W were sure about my standings in all of this! And I am still not sure!

I really wish from the bottom of my heart that when she told me she was dating I told her how that honestly made me feel. Too late now. What has happened AFAIK is because of this process good and bad.
I might have said something, she thought he's still there waiting and her thoughts might have been totally different.
Who knows.

But to answer your question, yes I do believe that acting "as if" can make them think anything that they can conjure up in their minds to why we don't seem affected by it all. They could think you have moved on, don't care, found someone else, had a mental breakdown...

Lets face it acting "as if" is pretty much acting that you are done. Unless they know otherwise why wouldn't they think we are done?

I think it's quite important that they know one way or the other that your not done but you are moving forward.
I said this (stole off the forum) when she last mentioned D:
"If you wish to pursue it then I can't stop you, right now I am still in a position of wanting to work on a new relationship with and as such I am not willing to initiate a divorce."

then this

"I live every day learning to be a better man for my family and for myself. I have come a long way and I still have far to go. Sometimes I have to do things I don't want to do but I do it anyway. When you told me you were dating I saw that as my cue to give you more space so thats what I have been doing."

Until I said this a few weeks ago she thought I was completely done.
I don't see why this was her wake up call, it's not like I had been dark for weeks/months but it did do something. Stated my position of I'm not going to wollow and wait and I'm going thrive and keep a channel open for her in the future.

It's quite a fine balance but this statement does the job quite well.
I didn't expect this reply to be so long but it got me thinking. Hope this helps.