Harder and harder

[Positivespin]

I muttered " Im soooooooooo done with this" this morning for prob the 3rd time since this started.

This happened as I was on the final leg of the 75 minute out of the way commute I have now because im trying to keep D3's family together......My MIL watches D3 two days a week. MIL house is right on the way to W's office.Its the complete wrong way for me. Ive made the commitment to myself to keep D3's schedule as unchanged as I can. I had a moment of weakness - now I have a much improved frame of reference.

Last evening when I picked up D3 at day care she was playing with dolls and a dollhouse. I asked her if I could join and D3's face lit up "Yes daddy- sit down here next to me".

D3 was in the middle of putting all the dolls to bed. She showed them all to me and lastly she said "This is the mommy and daddy dolly" " They sleep here in the big bed because they love each other".............

Oh that choked me up!

As to the email from yesterday JP and RT you are right it was fair.........

However, I read it from the perspective of my W telling me many times how nice she thinks it would be to not have to think about D3 every other weekend or only a few days a week.

My W will now be gone mem day weekend on a trip to NYC and for that week to CA- She is living it up....I dont know if she is taking someone or which one it will be- and im better not knowing.

Im focused on myself. Im at my strongest and most effective when I stay that course. It knocks me off course when im asked to help make her new life just that little bit better or easier.

Thanks JP and RT!