Weird scenario

[T1000]

Anybody else feel like the weekends are the hardest to deal with? I use to be so excited the weekend was here. Now all I imagine is what my W is doing. Ok back to GAL now.

Definitely. I have the kids at the weekends, the evenings can be tough, not much GAL I can do while sitting in.

[Jeack]

Meds definetly make you a lil shaky. But had a great day yesterday. Went to cookout, then went to see a band. Getting the house cleaned up this morning and heading to church then a meeting with a bride later on.

Just stinks the meeting is at the starbucks that me and W always went to.

[Jeack]

Kinda proud of myself had two bridal meetings less than 2 miles from where the W is living. Didn't drive by to see if she was there. And still no contact since Wednesday.

Just thinking in my head is this detachment or am I just coming to terms that this M is over.

I don't even know what I'd say any more if she did initiate contact.

[Jeack]

All I want to do today is text and beg her back. I hate that I can't kick this. She left and has made no intentions of getting back together. Has OM and I'm torturing myself.

[makingmagic]

Jeack... Ya, I know those feelings.... but FIGHT THEM! DO ANYTHING but that! Go for a walk or something to occupy yourself. Texting & begging her back WONT work anyway. Save face, have pride. (((((HUGS)))))

[Jeack]

Thanks for the hugs. I'm not gonna do it. I need to work on me. And let her be free

[Jeack]

So I've been doing a lot of reading on EA and my Passive Aggressive behaviors. I haven't contacted W since Wednesday. Giving her space. Also because I don't even know how I would respond to her. She does appear to be pretty happy with OM and I'm just feeling like this is never going to work.

We have done so many things to each other to burn our relationship.

We have no kids together. So there's no reason for contact at all other than if we need to discuss something about the Divorce.

She knows that I know about OM and doesn't even care how I know.

I know DBing is about GAL and moving forward. But is helpful in the healing process to still even have hope. I'm trying to mentally seperate myself from her and move on. Is that wrong? She's already told me to find a new GF and wants me happy.

I've done everything she has asked me to during our separation. Moved furniture dropped off left over stuff from my house because she didn't want to come back to the house. Gave her money and drive her to get her car out of impound when she was with OM. I'm really starting to feel used. I'm even still paying her car insurance which she promised to give to me. All I asked was for her to mail the keys to the house back and look for a jacket at her moms that I left there. She said she was having her lawyer draft the property settlement agreement 2 weeks ago. Still haven't heard from her on that.

I do love my W. just not sure if I could get over her being with OM especially cause of who it is.

Could use some advice.

[cbtdad]

Jeack,
I agree with what 25 said to you a while back. It's your decision to make in the end.
But the fact that you have no children and the fact that she has been so blatant in all of this and it hasn't even been a year means that I don't think this is a person you should want to be with. I know it's hard to let go, but really think about how she has treated you. You deserve better than this.

[cbtdad]

So embarrassed.
Scratch that I was thinking about Alan's sitch.
I apologize

[jp787]

So I've been doing a lot of reading on EA and my Passive Aggressive behaviors.

Did that help you? I have read about them too and it hurt. Reading about PAB and learning how to change you can change, well that is good.

I haven't contacted W since Wednesday. Giving her space. Also because I don't even know how I would respond to her. She does appear to be pretty happy with OM and I'm just feeling like this is never going to work.

Some mind reading and good job on the no contact, it's hard!

We have done so many things to each other to burn our relationship.

I think this is a statement most of us can say. Learn from what you feel you have done and find a positive solution for next time you come to each of those bridges.

We have no kids together. So there's no reason for contact at all other than if we need to discuss something about the Divorce.

She knows that I know about OM and doesn't even care how I know.

Mind reading. Does it matter that she hasn't voiced this?

I know DBing is about GAL and moving forward. But is helpful in the healing process to still even have hope. I'm trying to mentally seperate myself from her and move on. Is that wrong? She's already told me to find a new GF and wants me happy.

Having hope is something you have to decide for yourself. Is it what you want or not. Having hope is not a bad thing as long as you can keep moving forward with yourself and be OK with yourself. Comment on getting GF sounds like something she is saying to allow her to feel more justified doing what she is doing.

I've done everything she has asked me to during our separation. Moved furniture dropped off left over stuff from my house because she didn't want to come back to the house. Gave her money and drive her to get her car out of impound when she was with OM. I'm really starting to feel used. I'm even still paying her car insurance which she promised to give to me. All I asked was for her to mail the keys to the house back and look for a jacket at her moms that I left there. She said she was having her lawyer draft the property settlement agreement 2 weeks ago. Still haven't heard from her on that.

I fall into this also, I allow myself to be there and do things for my W. It is my choice and I am the one who needs to decide if I feel am being used or not. So my thought is you need to decide if you feel used, then stop. Also if you stop being there and helping her all the time, it may allow her to start to see that you may not always be there for and that she can't have it both ways. I too am working with this on my sitch.

I do love my W. just not sure if I could get over her being with OM especially cause of who it is.

That is another decision that only you can make. I have changed my thoughts on what my limits were and it sure is hard!

You can keep hope and keep the door open as long as you want. You also need to make sure that you put yourself first and allow yourself to grow and find happiness, regardless of the outcome.

My biggest challenge is finding out who I am and loving myself enough to be OK without my W, regardless of the outcome.

Give it some thought, there is no rush.