Strange Meeting

[job]

Bea,
Your xh is a little bit like mine was/is. They are a bit strange when they begin waking up because we aren't sure who they are, i.e., they were such mean and angry people for such a long time that we become cautious around them. They feel strange too because they aren't sure of themselves either, so both are very cautious for a while. I do understand what you are saying...believe me...I saw and felt that way as well.

It's not that they are dim witted, but they can't accept what we tell them as to how they behaved and what they said or did. That's why you've had to connect the dots for him. He was in a fog for such a long time and truthfully, they don't remember a lot of what they've said or done and keep in mind, their empathy chip was broken too. Now, as they begin to awaken or as I always say, thaw out, they start to feel again and it takes a while for them to see/hear about all of the destruction that happened during their visit to fantasy land.

Oh, I do think he thinks you are involved w/someone else. Why? Because he cant' accept that you are happy being on your own and doing things indpendently. He can't accept that this is the new Bea and how you've had to endure through the years of mlc destruction. He actually thought you would gladly accept him for who he is right now w/open arms and the door would open wide and you would welcome him back. Boy, he had a rude awakening...didn't he? He's got to do the work and show you and your family that he wants to gain their trust and respect back once again...it's not a simple "let's sweep it under the carpet" deal.

Bea, you honored your marriage vows for many years and yes, the divorce decree does change things completely.

Defintely...your h needs a tune up because he's not firing on all cylinders and won't be for some time. Don't be surprised if he continues to invite you to activities, etc. The man is now on a mission.