Well, I have not posted in several weeks, mainly because my sitch has improved greatly.
Fantastic, very happy for you
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We have found a new normal in our relationship. In fact, my W told me she loved me last week without any prompting on my part -- in other words, I didn't say it first.
That's a great step forward!!
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Is it as good as I would like? Yes and no. There is still this lingering insecurity in my head. It is difficult for me to think that a few months ago she was contemplating separation and even divorce, and now all is good.
It's normal for you to feel this way. It's going to take a long time for the trust to come back. Just be patient. Read the threads in Piecing, you'll see those same sentiments expressed many times there.
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Me, I continue to GAL with my hobbies; I continue to give W space; I don't complain, although in some cases, such as cleaning the house or cooking, I would like to! (last week I cooked twice, W not once, she took kids to dinner 2 nights that I was late due to GAL activities and on 5th night we did leftovers); I avoid pursuit behavior; and I continue my 180s. I think many of my 180s are now part of me, so slipping to old ways is unlikely.
Well done!
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I will send flowers to her office -- this is a 180 because I almost never sent her flowers in 22 years and I realize she really appreciates it. Her love language is gifts.
By all means do that. Try not to lay it on too heavy (with a bunch of gifts) just yet, you're kind of transitioning to piecing but you're not fully there yet.
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However, we have not really discussed our relationship. I wonder if my W will want to?
I would keep doing your DB'ing and wait until she's ready. She'll let you know when she's ready for that discussion. If you try to push her into it before she's ready then it may not go well, so just be patient.
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I mention this because this week, I saw that she added our wedding band to her finger. I see this as a very positive step. I wonder should I mention it?
I think it's a great sign as well. Rather than mention it, you might just reach for her hand (to hold hands) at an opportune moment, look down at the ring and look up and smile at her. Acknowledge it through an action rather than words, sometimes that speaks a lot louder.
