I agree. Whats the very best reaction you could get?
They all start and end with her hating you more than she did before the conversation began. You would actually be better off completely ignoring her rather than tell her about this.
What about: "I don't want to talk about it" "It doesn't matter how I know" "I've forgotten" "I like flying pink elephants and they have told me to not tell you"
All these are better than telling her. They all might frustrate her but thats not your problem. Blame the elephants.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I'm definitely not going to discuss it with her at this point. I definitely agree now that there is no reason to. This conversation and being open about everything can take place down the road. We have talked about seeing my IC about our son for a couloir months as after spending 11 days with him i do think its a good idea for us to do that. I have already talked to IC and she said we will keep focus on son completely. She said its all about consistency at his age when y'all are separated. She is a child specialist so I think doing so for him is a gods idea at this point
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
W text me a little bit ago. W: Do you have dinner plans?
Me: no, why?
W: Beacause son kept asking for you last night and I told him WE might be able to do dinner and he said he wanted you to get chicken
Me: let me get back to you on that
W: ok
Just feel like this is to draw me into conversation. Which I want no part in right now. Im thinking I should just tell her that I will pick him up and take him to dinner?
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
If she wants to know that much ducking the conversation doesn't make it go away, the sooner you state your position the sooner you can stop worrying about it.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Well the position I want to state is that there is nothing to discuss at this time. Talking about why you lied and how I know does not benefit either one of us and I dont want to talk about it. You are in a relationship with someone else and as long as that is the case there is nothing to discuss
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
So it's safe to say she's not thinking about how this impacts you at all right, she's just worried about what 3rd parties think of what she's doing -- she's worried about being embarrassed, it's all about her and not about you at all.
Therefore, you gain nothing by telling her how you found out. You just give her a reason to get angry at you and further justify what she is doing.
To the degree you will play "the bad guy" it makes it easier for her to rationalize what she's doing. Let her wonder.
^^^Bingo Acc
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Talking about why you lied and how I know does not benefit either one of us and I dont want to talk about it. You are in a relationship with someone else and as long as that is the case there is nothing to discuss
She knows when she is lying, saying out loud doesn't do you any favours. Nor does showing off that you know.
"I dont want to talk about it. While there is another man in your life there is nothing to discuss."
Or something similar.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Thank you T1000. That is exactly what i am trying to say and there is nothing past that to say. Keep it simple!
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
