Any hope???

[~ kd ~]

You really can not measure results because of doing something "once". It has to be done consistently, over a long period of time. So much so, that it really becomes a habit, for you.

Then measure it and see if it is working or not... and it might even have no effect as far as him moving towards you, but in this instance, it would very likely have positive results for you, personally.

[Emilys88]

i understand what you guys are saying.

When i was back living with him i tried so hard to always be loving and positive but he would push me away and start a fight. How do you let that roll off your back? I honestly dont know how some people can do it.

Its like the nicer and loving I was the more it pissed him off.

[Emilys88]

there was one time i remember so well, i was cuddling with him and he got up and was getting dressed. I asked him where he was going he said out.

I asked where to, he replied to the bar to drink. He didnt want me near him because he doesnt feel for me like he used to.

It really hurt that i was doing what he wanted but then it pissed him off.

[Emilys88]

I spent last week with my god mother and i think thats just what i needed. It helped me clear my mind and now I can move forward in my GAL.

I'm ready to file my reply to the D summons, and start doing things for myself. I am planning on going to college in the fall, and getting a job.

I wish H would reconsider our M but its his loss. I tried everything i could, Im moving on but not burning that bridge in the process and leaving myself open to the future if he ever gets help for his problems.

I still miss the old him but I cannot stand who he is now. So im excited to move forward and start being happy for a change!!

[Emilys88]

I was doing so well until today when I was unpacking my things I had brought from the house. I found a letter from him back when he was deployed. I read it and just started sobbing, where did that love go? He admited that he has treaded me wrongly in the past but promised to do better. Well look how that turned out......

Ugh I am still moving forward and have a appiontment with a lawyer Monday, I slipped and snooped at the phone records and bank statements. He just seems to be moving on with his life going to the movies and chatting it up with everyone. I miss him.....

[~ kd ~]

It may take him a while to figure out his responsibilities in the breakdown of the M. Maybe he never will, but there is always a chance he might.

Good for you for taking charge of your life and moving forward. It will serve you well in the future.

I understand that you feel down, we all had cycles and you will need time to process your feelings as they come up. Try not to get stuck in them.

In the mean time, have you given any thought to you responsibilities that contributed to the breakdown of the M? What might those things be?

[Emilys88]

i held onto anger thus not showing affection to him when he asked for it

I agrued just to be right sometimes

I let my temper control my words instead of walking away to cool down and then later try to talk things through

looked to him for my happiness instead of getting myself out there and making myself happy.

[~ kd ~]

Would you say those are or can be "normal" behaviours for you? Things that might show up with anyone, not just your H?

How can you work on those things?

[Emilys88]

yeah i think id act that way with anyone.

I have started to let go of anger and forgive.

I'm working on making myself happy first.

Having trouble with temper and being right all the time, I've struggled with those since I was a teenager.

[SFC_Swede]

A stubborn woman? Say it isn't so

JK