Letting Go & Moving Forward

[littleGTO]

Semper, thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

Went for a long group bike ride tonight. Was a lot of fun- great GAL. But as usual, after a great GAL, I have a difficult emotional battle.

For me I had sacrificed time for me and away from boys. H stepped up and helped more than usual. HOwever, when we got home at 9:20 tonight there was still homework not done, laundry to be folded, lunches for tomorrow to be made, dishes to do, Mom, will you read with me? Mom, I need money for a field trip by tomorrow! Mom, can I have a hug?

YES, OKAY and YES!

S11 calls H at bedtime and I was exhausted and a bit frustrated that I had all these things to do w no help. So, unfortunately I vented a bit to H. And, he put ME ON SPEAKER while I was talking to him so I asked if I was on speaker (as I knew I was) and he said yes b/c he was fixing himself something to eat.

I said, "Well, you obviously have more important things to do than speak w me!" I hung up.

I know, not good DBIng. He called right back but I told S11 he could answer but I had things to do and could not talk to him.

Later I texted him "H, I'm sorry I took my frustration out on you. I appreciate the effort you made to help out extra so I could go on a bike ride. Thank you."

No response yet, but am sure he was already in bed.

I really feel awful when I slide into "ugly, angry mode," and especially when any of that comes out toward H or my boys.

But, I have to forgive myself and move on. Not sure I will try another GAL during the school week as this evening was too crazy in the end.