I've decided to take the lead regarding financial matters. Talking about finances is stressful for her, and she starts acting like she's not making enough money, and what she's doing isn't good enough. I send her an email and tell her what I'm going to do, so it's not a secret. We pay too much for our fitness center. I go twice per week, and she hardly goes. I visited a fitness center closer to home this weekend, without the bells and whistles. The membership fee is half the price. She agreed to switch, as soon as she finishes her remaining training sessions.
I've been wanting to take advantage of the mortgage rates, and shorten the life of our loan. I've been avoiding this, as we have a lot of credit card debt, and assumed we wouldn't be approved. I've noticed the rates have dropped again. I sent her an email, that I'm going to sit down with a loan officer, and start the process, rather than assume the answer is no. I will visit the bank this week. She said OK.
In the spirit of DB, I have started Acting As If I'm a spouse who is being financially responsible and proactive about managing our financial problems, even though I too have avoided seeking help to address problems, and have felt frustrated by our monthly expenses.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
